New space agency

Routers reports –

The Earth is excited (and rightly so) at the formation of a new centre for scientific excellence:

The North A’Scotland Space Agency

or NA'SSA

Despite being created on a typically frugal budget of under £25.00, this group is already proving to be a key player in the furtherance of man’s knowledge of the universe.

This is verified by the following staggering achievements, as quoted by Dr. Jones, the agency’s chief scientist, mathematician, spokesman, astronut, fund raiser, bottle-washer and general dogsbody:

• Just like NASA, we’ve never landed anyone or anything on the Moon.
• Just like NASA, we’ve never gotten probes to Venus, Jupiter, Saturn or Mars.
• Just like NASA, we’ve somehow managed to photograph a comet close up.
• Just like NASA, we can claim that artists' impressions are actually generated via some sort of 'space telescope'.
• Just like Neil Armstrong, we never talk to anyone about what we’ve done (or not done).

Prof. Steve Jones (not to be confused with the madman who rants about organic evolution) has already equalled NASA when it comes to Grabbing A Ready Backdrop And Generating Exposures (or GARBAGE), as Fig. 1 clearly demonstrates.

Figure 1: Two missions for the price of none.

Obviously, NA'SSA will be of enormous benefit to this impoverished region of the World, where the main topic of conversation is the proposed erection of yet another wind farm.

Dr. Jones states, "We are confident that we can adequately keep pace with our American cousins without the inconvenience of having to pretend to launch space probes. This has an important side effect, in that we don’t need to take up any of this wonderful boggy wasteland here in Caithness - land which could otherwise be used for a wind farm. This, of course, means that the value of our shares in wind farm development companies will not be adversely affected."